Hump Week!

Hump week was hard.  I will try to think of cheerier things to say, but the truth of the matter is that I am emotionally spent.  I started the week with a brutal posture clinic.   The coach for the night laid into my work ethic based on my performance without asking or knowing what I had been doing, and the sad thing was I had actually done pretty well for me.  He also said your home studio is not going to let you teach for them....etc...etc!   Again, with zero knowledge of me as a person or my future.   I was proud in that I didn't break down or run away.   Just took the feedback.  Then demonstrated three perfectly executed Balancing Sticks as a demonstrator.  After class I did break down but in private!   Rajashree is here, Bikram's wife....so that positive.   She has talked a lot about tapping into your emotions.   She reads poetry after she teaches Yoga and every time I find my heart touched.   Cry a lot here.   Week 5 is known for this.  One thing that she said that has really affected me is "Forgiveness is gift you give to yourself, not others".  Need to let go of my hurt before I can really grow, and if I can this journey will have been priceless for lack of a better word.  My next posture clinic was nice.   A very flamboyant fellow from Head Quarters, gave a refreshing take on things.   He made all of us " train wreck" go first and then he gave us positive feedback!   Crazy!   He also said.... I am doing fine.   It will sink in!  By Triangle Pose I felt I has done well.   Still am crazy nervous but the words are sticking.   I was up most nights this week till 2 am studying in the lobby but at least it wasn't wasted energy.  The classes that Bikram taught this week on average were 2 and a quarter hours long.   The good news here is we are all doing better.   Less people passing out or fleeing the room, and more importantly Bikram was actually happy with us.   Making him happy is very nearly impossible!   But he has actually said...."you guys look good"!  Our posture clinic group is number 13.   We are known as the bad kids group mostly because we are not the best at dialog and percentage wise our group has the most make up classes.   Meaning if you are 5 seconds late signing in you get to do back to back classes on Saturday.  But was our group does have is the most spirit, the most love and the most improved!   Lucky 13 will prevail and perhaps be the best teachers ultimately.  I'll end my post on that high note!