Week three has been rough so far. To start I ache for my children. They are doing fine but I miss them. Been good about not going down that rabbit hole but as my week has been emotional.....it's hard not to want their little arms around me.
Dialog has started off this week with a tremendous case of nerves and self doubt. You'd think after 8 years of religious practice it wouldn't be so hard. I literally spent all weekend studying. We have been divided up into smaller groups of 40. Each group is guided by a teacher. My first teacher was Takato. She is a bit hard and shows no real compassion. I got up and absolutely froze through back bending and hands to feet pose. The crowd is not allowed to give cues anymore so the silence was deafening. I was told to sit down and that I'd have to go again. After class I totally broke down. A lovely mom of four stayed with me and gave me all sorts of motivational love. Again....this group is filled with beautiful souls. Tonight I regrouped, gathered all the PMA I could and I made it though. The coach tonight was Jay and he was very sweet. He said....so you have a lot of self doubt going on. Yes! He said throw it all out! Anyhow....I made it through tonights session tomorrow I have Awkward to do. Not sure I can sleep to get it down.
Anatomy has also started this week. They brought a world renown Indian othepedic surgeon in to teach it. Bengali to be exact. Very sweet man but pretty much impossible to understand. And this is not paint by numbers and color anatomy. It is hard core. The Yogi crowd is freaking out! His lecture today was better but it still is omigod mind boggling information. It isn't like practical basic here are the muscles u use and here is what yoga does for u it .....it is......down to our cellular make up. I know they dumb down the test but it is fun to watch these yogis go ape. Frankly my brain is about to explode.
This past weekend one of the 333 rented a scooter to cruise around and got into a terrible crash. She broke both her legs in four places. She is lucky to be alive. Anyhow....off campus journeries are pretty limited now.
I am happier in my solo room. At my age....having space is nice. Having air conditioning is amazing!!!!!
Received the most beautiful letter from Alana. Our love runs deep for each other. She shared her love and pride for my personal journey. Couldn't have come to me on a better day. Needed it. Used it to get through my fear today.
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